The Never-ending Newborn Cycle

Eat, poop, sleep, eat, poop, sleep, eat, spit up, scream at Mama, poop 3 times (at least once all over something that now needs to be laundered), sleep – but not long enough for anyone else to get a good REM cycle – and repeat. Add to that some lingering soreness from delivery, soreness from learning to nurse Princess Poopypants (as her daddy often calls her), & the unexpected onset of the baby blues at the end of last week, and there are some days it’s hard to remember that this is exactly what I signed up for. I’m tired is what I’m saying. My husband is tired. 

And yet, when our sweet little girl sighs with complete contentment and snuggles into me when she finishes eating, my heart melts. I watch her with her daddy when he comes home from work and I fill with pride at the thought that I helped make him a father. I kiss the top of her head, smell that precious baby smell, and remember how utterly blessed I am to have her. I’m reminded that this newborn phase is just a short stage in her beautiful life, and it won’t last long. We’re also so fortunate to have so many wonderful people in our lives that love us and adore our baby girl. Her grandparents go out of their way to help us and take any opportunity to snuggle her. Her uncles and (especially) aunties and fawn over her, our church family has brought over meals, & the wonderful ladies at MOPS have offered encouragement, spit up clean up assistance, and breaks for me while they hold her. We are truly blessed, and even on the hardest days in the never-ending newborn cycle remembering that makes me thankful.

She's Here!

I wasn't able to put up a blog post last week and here's why:

Isn't she precious?! Our sweet Evelyn was born on Tuesday, October 29 (the day after her due date), and I've been a bit preoccupied ever since. :)

The Tired Mom’s Creed

I found a new blog recently written by a mom of 3 – I’ve only browsed a few posts, but so far I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read. One of the things I came across was “The Tired Mom’s Creed”, which I’ve posted below. I’m also including a link to the original blog post that includes a free printable version of this little gem…maybe someday we can find a cute craft to do at MOPS that would feature this list. J

Repeat after me:

1. I shall not judge my house, my kid’s summer activities or my crafting skills by Pinterest’s standards.
2. I shall not measure what I’ve accomplished today by the loads of unfolded laundry but by the assurance of deep love I’ve tickled into my kids
3. I shall say “yes” to blanket forts and see past the chaos to the memories we’re building.
4. I shall surprise my kids with trips to get ice cream when they’re already in their pajamas.
5. I shall not compare myself to other mothers, but find my identity in the God who trusted me with these kids in the first place.
6. I shall remember that a messy house at peace is better than an immaculate house tied up in knots.
7. I shall play music loudly and teach my kids the joy of wildly uncoordinated dance.
8. I shall remind myself that perfect is simply a street sign at the intersection of impossible and frustration in Never Never land.
9. I shall embrace the fact that in becoming a mom I traded perfect for a house full of real.
10. I shall promise to love this body that bore these three children – out loud, especially in front of my daughter.
11. I shall give my other mother friends the gift of guilt-free friendship.
12. I shall do my best to admit to my people my “unfine” moments.
13. I shall say “sorry” when sorry is necessary.
14. I pray God I shall never be too proud, angry or stubborn to ask for my children’s forgiveness.
15. I shall make space in my grown up world for goofball moments with my kids.
16. I shall love their father and make sure they know I love him.
17. I shall model kind words – to kids and grown-ups alike.
18. I shall not be intimidated by the inside of my minivan – this season of chip bags, goldfish crackers and discarded socks too shall pass.
19. I shall always make time to encourage new moms.
20. I shall not resent that last call for kisses and cups of water but remember instead that when I blink they’ll all be in college.

~ with love from one tired mother to another.

- See more at: Encouragement for Tired Moms

I Can’t Do This!

As my due date gets closer (less than 2 weeks away!) and the reality that our little bundle of joy could decide she’s ready for her birthday literally any day now, I have a confession to make: I’m terrified. Yes, the nursery is 100% ready, the hospital bag is packed (along with a list of last minute items to add), the car seat is properly installed in the car and has been checked by the fire department technician, every item on my “before baby” to do list is checked off, and our close friends and family are waiting on standby. I should be calm, collected, and at peace with the imminent arrival of the little miracle that we’ve been waiting and praying for, not just for the almost nine months of my pregnancy, but also for the 18 long and sometimes heartbreaking months of trying that preceded them. 

And yet, some nights I lie in bed forcing myself to breathe through the cloud of fear that overwhelms me when I think about the fact that I will soon be a mother.  I let doubts creep in when I remember the facts I’ve learned and horror stories I’ve heard about labor – and let’s face it, this close to my first delivery, even the good stories sound like horror stories. ;) I suddenly think, “I can’t do this! I’ve changed my mind! I can’t deliver a baby, let alone raise one.” I catalogue my flaws and shortcomings, stacking them against myself as reasons why this is all a big mistake and tell myself over and over that I know nothing about being a mom. The “what if’s” start to push their way into my thoughts, including: “what if I don’t realize I’m in labor?”, “what if she doesn’t like me?”, and “what if I make a big mistake that ruins her life forever?”. In these moments, I find myself on the verge of panic (and of course, the pregnancy hormones don’t help).

And then I look over to see my wonderful husband lying next to me and I realize something: I am not alone. Just that simple thought is enough to push away the “what ifs”, the doubts, and the fear. As my mind clears, another thought surfaces: we are not alone. Not only do we have friends and family that will love and support us no matter what, we have a God that promises to lead us gently through our most difficult paths. Usually around this time, I feel a gentle (or not so gentle) kick or nudge from my precious daughter and I remember again what a miracle it is that she even exists. I feel the joy that bubbled up when I first discovered she was coming, and when we saw her on the ultrasound for the first time, and then when we found out we were having a little girl. I start to think about how soon it may be that I can hold her in my arms, look into her eyes, kiss the top of her head, and smell that sweet newborn scent. The fear fades to the background, still present, but nothing compared to the anticipation and excitement of meeting our sweet miracle face to face. 

So my encouragement to you today is this: always remember that no matter how frightening or overwhelming something might seem you are not alone. 

Prayer

Recently I’ve had a few people snicker at me because of my prayer philosophy. Of course, the conversations never started with prayer, they started because we were discussing how close I am to my due date (less than 3 weeks now!). Especially once I reached full term, people started saying, “She could come any day now,” to which I responded, “Well, I’m definitely ready, but I do want her to wait until after Justin has his wisdom tooth removed on the 11^th, and it would be nice if she waited until after my birthday on the 13^th. So anytime from the 14^th on would be fine…but I’d prefer if she came by her due date on October 28^th.” That’s when the snickering started. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that when it comes to babies being born they come when they’re going to come, regardless of their parents’ schedules or preferences. Justin and I will be thrilled when she decides to make her appearance whether she arrives in 2 days or (very possibly) 33 days. However, this view of Evie’s potential birthday stems from my philosophy on prayer.

I grew up in a family that encouraged – and practiced – prayer that was very conversational. I learned to talk to God like I talk to a friend: informally, directly, openly, honestly, and frequently – in the car, as I do the dishes, or as soon as a need or praise pops into my head. My dad often describes this as Tevye prayer – referencing the main character in the movie Fiddler on the Roof from the 1970s.  (If you haven’t seen this movie, I would absolutely recommend it, but to give you an example of Tevye’s prayers, see the YouTube links below.) This type of praying served me well as I became an adult and had to learn how to make my faith my own. A conversation-style prayer became a cornerstone in building a stronger, closer relationship with God. To clarify, I’m not saying that my prayer life is perfect or that it’s always what it should be. Like all Christians, I go through phases when I don’t always live out my faith the way I should, or when my prayer life is not as strong or as healthy as it could be.  However, my faith is always strongest when I’m talking to God in this way. Having an open conversation with my Creator that is unhindered by embarrassment about my feelings or that is not limited to a specific location or routine is often how I work out my most difficult struggles or how I celebrate my most treasured blessings. 

Along with this method of prayer is my belief on how God responds to prayer. I believe that our relationship with God is similar to our relationships with people in that it is strongest when we invest our time, our energy, and our hearts. God wants to hear from us in everything that we do, whether it’s appreciating a beautiful sunset, asking for a close parking space when it’s raining, or struggling with why something difficult or heartbreaking is happening in our lives. King David prayed with passion and fervency and often railed at God for what he considered injustices in his life. God can handle any prayers or challenges that we throw at Him because He’s bigger than all of it. Along with that, God cares about what’s happening to us, big or small, and He loves us and wants what’s best for us. There are so many verses in the Bible that tell us that God wants us to talk to Him and to ask for what we need, but here are just a few examples:

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” Matthew 7:7-11 

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26

Ultimately, God is going to do what He wants because He’s God, and He already knows what we need. Granted, it’s often difficult to accept when our prayers are not answered in the way we hoped, but He always answers. And even when we’re asking for things that He knows are not  in line with what’s best for us, He wants us to ask Him because that shows that we acknowledge that He is in control and we need His help. So I decided a long time ago that I’m going to ask for what I want, or as I often say “put my order in”, even if it seems silly or impossible; then I’ll trust that God will take care of me and give me what is best. 

So, here’s my prayer for today:

“Father, I want Evie to wait to come until after Justin has his wisdom tooth removed on the 11^th, and it would be nice if she waited until after my birthday on the 13^th. Anytime from the 14^th on I’ll be eager for her to come…and I’d really prefer if she came by her due date on October 28^th. And Lord, if she is late, please give me the grace to wait patiently. Amen.”

Now, let’s see what God does! ;)


Tevye’s Prayers 

Dear God (Watch the first minute)

Taking Troubles to God (Watch from 3:55 to 5:45)